


Without you

by Morenita326



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alternate Universe, Explicit Sex, F/M, Happy Ending, J/C Cutthroat Competion, Love, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-05 07:50:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13383402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morenita326/pseuds/Morenita326
Summary: Kathryn thinks the universe would have been better if she hadn't existed. She's about to find out what her officers would have been like without her.





	1. Escaping the Nova

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Talsi74656](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talsi74656/gifts).



> This is my submission for Talsi's J/C Cutthroat Competition, Round 2. The prompt was: "Write a Janeway version of It's a Wondeful LIfe."  
> I want to thank all the girls involved in this competition for their support, their companionship and their infinite patience (specially Talsi).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn and Chakotay are observing a Nova when the star menaces to swalow them in its expasion.  
> Soon they find themlseves in a totally diferent situation, a much more complicated one.

Light grew slowly inside the small cabin filling every inch and tiny corner. The silhouette of her body, frantically moving over the controls, was swallowed by the growing light until everything was an unbearable shine. A silent shine.

Then, the sea.

A smooth roaring approached him slowly from the distance. Blurry shades spotted the light until the intense shine faded into a warm and windy beach. When his eyes got used to the smooth light, he turned around looking for her, only dunes, bushes and salty water. Then something moved behind the bushes and her figure emerged from the dunes a few steps away.

“Kathryn” he sighed in relief. Then moving towards her, he called for her, “Kathryn!”

She turned to him narrowing her eyes, then she simply smiled and looked at the sand at her feet before facing him again. Her hands folded before her.

“Commander” she stated as if his presence was unexpected. “I didn’t know you were here too.”

“Were you expecting to be alone, Captain?” he smiled in confusion and looked around. “Were you planning a vacation?” he played but her dry smile stopped him.

“Actually I have no idea where we are but it seems sensible to walk away from the sea. If we are going to find out what happened, we may need help and I doubt it’ll be in the water” While talking, she had started walking away through the dunes. She stopped at the top of one and looked around pretending to orient herself, but he could tell she was merely exploring the land, she already knew where to go. However, he played her game and pretended as well.

“Shall we?” she turned to him with a natural expression. “I don’t want sunset to catch us far from shelter” Then, as she moved away, she added “Who knows, we may even find inhabitants” with a wide grin.

“Inhabitants” his face was serious “Captain” he was struggling to keep up with the pace of her thoughts. “Is it safe to meet new life forms we know nothing about when we don’t even know where we are? We don’t even have our weapons” She stopped walking to face him. She was so small and yet he had never been able to think of her as _fragile_. Her figure cut against the sky a few steps up the dune looked mighty.

“Commander. Weapons? Let’s hope they are friendly, OK?” Her smile was not reaching her eyes and the assumption that she had apparently made about the existence of life forms made it clear that she knew much more than she was sharing.

“Captain, with all due respect-“

“Commander” she interrupted “I understand the situation and I am open to suggestions but-“

“That’s the thing” now he was the one interrupting “it seems that you understand the situation way too well: one second we are being swallowed by a star going Nova and the next we are on a beach of an unknown planet, and none of it seems to bother you”.

The expression on her face was inextricable, he tried to decipher her feelings but all he could make of it was her discomfort. She took a deep breath and walked back to him.

“I have no idea of where we are, Chakotay” she had come so close that one more step would have taken her into his arms “but I don’t think we will find our way out by sunbathing on this beach”. She was right about that but still he knew she was withholding information and that made him angry. _Why couldn’t she trust him?_

“You’re right” if he had learnt something by her side was how pointless it was to fight her without having the facts “let’s get going”. He waved his hand before her since she seemed to know what way to go, she smiled and resumed walking.

The dunes and bushes slowly became sparse forest and about four hundred meters away from the water it was already dense with pines. Over the last line of dunes, they found a house, big and with big windows, and it sounded like a party inside. People at the house seemed human even though they were thousands of light years away from any human colony. At this point, Chakotay was not surprised to find out that she did not seem to notice any problem.

“Humans?” he played naive in an attempt to get some explanations.

“So it seems” she was too engrossed watching them to notice his attempts.

“And I presume you don’t think that’s weird” he was standing straight, eyes locked on her who, at the moment, was the greatest of mysteries.

She looked at him over her shoulder, from the corner of her eye. “Chakotay…”

“Hello, there!” a familiar voice interrupted her.

They both turned to look at the young man that was approaching them from the woods.

“Tom…?” Chakotay murmured.

The young man stopped walking. “Sorry… Do I know you?”

Kathryn walked towards Tom with a smile and offered an extended arm and an open hand. “No. I am Kathryn Janeway and this is Chakotay. We were exploring the woods and we lost track of time” she played a shy smile “and I’m afraid also the trail back”.

Tom scanned her slowly before replying.

“Well, we don’t want you to get cold out here.” He offered a folded arm and Kathryn accepted it “why don’t you join me? I was getting bored at the reception but new faces might change the mood of the night” he looked at her and she smiled back.

“Thank you, we appreciate it”

Tom didn’t seem to remember Chakotay was also there and the First Officer couldn’t decide whether to feel offended or amused by Paris’ boldness. However, for as complicated as it was to understand the situation or may be because of its complexity, he felt this Paris was not to be trusted.


	2. Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revenge can be sweet.

From the distance, the only visible feature of the house were the lights and some of the white walls but as they approached it, Kathryn noticed that the base was made of concrete while the upper floor had a tree structure, columns of concrete and external walls of glass. She hadn’t seen anything like that before, somehow it looked old and familiar. Paris noticed the look in her eyes and smiled.

“Do you like it?” he looked at the house.

“Oh…” Kathryn made the effort “well, it’s very… I had never seen something like it”

Paris looked pleased and she noticed a hint of pride in the glim of his eyes. Now she was smiling.

“I had it built following the designs of a very famous architect from the twentieth century, Richard Neutra. He had designed houses here in California that made him famous in the 50s” he looked at her from the corner of his eye checking the impact of his story “I even have a car from the same time” he pointed with his head at a dark green Ford Victoria convertible.

“I would have thought you were a red color kind of guy” she played with him.

Chakotay walked a few meters behind, trying to keep his distance but also an eye on him. The house seemed unguarded but whoever he was, he was acting too flirty with his Captain and he convinced himself that he had to watch for her. Though he had to admit that she was playing along pretty well.

Kathryn watched Paris grin at her and she grinned back, all his happiness made clear she was right about this trip.

“You know” he took her out of her thoughts “those clothes may not be the best choice for a party.” He had stopped a few meters before entering the house. “Why don’t we go this way so I help you with that?” He looked into her eyes a second too long and Kathryn blushed. She was about to reply when he put his free hand on the one she had entangled to his arm and walked towards the house.

Chakotay had remained a few meters away, seizing the situation reclined on a tree. Nothing seemed wrong but, at the same time, nothing seemed right either. When Tom took Kathryn inside, he waited a few minutes and walked towards the house as well, determined to get some answers but two security officers blocked his way.

Kathryn had never allowed herself to think of her officers as any other than crew members and even when the distance and the desperate situations made her feel lonely, she had only hoped for a friend. Or so she liked telling herself.

Paris had taken her to a room that looked like a dressing room, _my sisters’_ he had felt necessary to clarify when she looked around in surprise. He had pulled a collection of cocktail dresses in the replicator’s display panel and offered it to her. She was enjoying the attention and so far, the only difference between these two Toms was that this one was home at a reception, not lost at the other side of the damned galaxy. She picked an emerald green silk dress to the knee.

“Will you need help with it?” he was standing so close to her that she could feel his breath, but his words sounded almost automatic and she realized that he had said that far too many times.

“It’s OK, Mr. Paris” habit took the best of her “I can manage” she smiled over her shoulder and stood still until he left the room.

“Please,” he said at the other side of the door “I am Tom. My father is Mr. Paris” she could feel no intention to it, again, far too many times…

“So, Tom” she opened the door at reclined against the frame “what are you celebrating today?” she noticed how he instinctively lowered his head while he locked his eyes on her but she had to find who he was here so she made the effort to smile while he approached her.

“My first successful mission” he couldn’t hide a blue note behind his pride.

“Oh, well. Congratulations, then.” She smiled almost happily “what was the mission about? If, of course, it can be shared” they were face to face and she could notice his strong features as something completely new. _Or wasn’t it?_ Could it be possible that she had never payed attention? Or was her Tom more of a child than this one? Then she realized that he was looking back at her lips.

“You must have been lost quite a while in those woods if you didn’t hear about the Val Jean incident”. He took in her eyes again.

“So it seems” she made an effort to swallow “the Val Jean… the Maqui ship” She hoped against all hope that he denied it.

“Yes… the Maqui ship” he whispered narrowing his eyes for a second and continued “It had been under surveillance for a while and then, suddenly, we lost contact. Voyager was sent to retrieve it-“

“Voyager?” for a second she thought it was a mistake, there should be no Voyager. Then she came to her senses. “Sorry, continue” she tried to smile.

“We proceeded to the last known location” he added without changing his tone, without moving one inch away from her “and there was a battle.” He said it as if it was self-explanatory but she needed more, she needed the details.

“In the badlands” she added trying to pull his tongue.

“Yes…” he took one more step and she instinctively pulled back trying to maintain eye contact, but he circled her waist and held her still while the door closed at his back and disappeared. “Well, well… what do we have here?” he whispered in her ear. “I know you have no weapons” he slid his fingertips up her hips.

“Tom-“ she tried pointlessly realizing that she had fallen in a trap

“Shhh… I also know that your friend Chakotay is dead and that your Maqui tricks are not going to work with me. So why don’t you tell me what you came here to do?” Now he pulled his head a little backwards to look into her eyes.

“Tom” she tried to calm down “I assure you I have no idea what you are talking about” she put her palms against his chest preparing to push him away. His heart was racing and his eyes twinkled with lust. This was a completely different Tom Paris.

“Tell me, Kathy” he pulled from the lace that held the dress to her waist and she tried to push him away as strongly as she could. He laughed at her efforts.

“Come on” he whispered “do you really think you can fight me?” he smiled and untied the last knot that held the dress to her body. He moved one hand under the fabric and then she had the angle to move, she took his arm and turned around with it so she could make him roll over her and fall to the floor, but she failed. When she turned around, he rolled the other way and she ended up with her back on his chest and her arms crossed in front of her. She could not move, her clothes were loose around her body and his strong muscles felt like iron against her skin. She could feel his chest against her back and his full erection against her ass. More than scared, more than furious, she was anguished, _what kind of a man was he here?_ She tried to free herself but he was too strong.

“You are a Federation officer and I am not a maqui. I am not here to harm you” she had almost convinced herself he was doing this because he thought she was a maqui, his enemy.

Paris tittered and put his mouth right next to her ear.

“Do you still think you can harm me?” that anguish inside her grew. “Honestly, Kathy, I have no interest in you personally, even when I admit, we could have a lot of fun together” he pressed her arms tighter and she withheld a cry of pain “but your friend owns me big time, and you will help me making him pay…”

“My friend?” suddenly her chest froze, _Chakotay…_

She couldn’t let him hurt Chakotay, she didn’t even know why he had been dragged here with her but one thing was sure, she had already caused too much harm to all of them, she couldn’t let them hurt him here too. Dispair was already mounting in her chest when Paris pushed her to the wall and hooked her panties with one of his fingers.

“Tomas Eugene Paris, stop this right now!” the command tone was charged with the wrath caused by what this man had done to her sweet lieutenant. He stopped and his chest started pounding fast.

“oh… you wish” he mumbled and pulled the fabric down helping with his foot.

“Computer” he called pulling his face away from her and then, approaching her slowly again, he added “magnetic cuffs”. A pair of thick rings materialized around her wrists. “Activate” he ordered in a calm tone and walked a few steps away, while she got pulled strongly against the wall.

“I can be a very pleasant man, you know” his tone was now, he walked to her and extended his arm to touch her face. He moved his hand over her cheek in a caress, his other hand took the edge of the dress and covered her.

“You remind me of her” his eyes lost in the distance hidden in her skin “she was fierce as well”. He looked down and turned around. “It was her, my mission was her and I failed. No matter what the admiralty say, I failed at the only thing that mattered, to bring her back alive” His breath was becoming erratic, rage was building up in his chest. _He was talking about B’Elanna_.

“Tom, I had nothing to do with the Val Jean incident”

“Well” he muttered “you’ll see, that’s hard to believe. I found you out there, wandering in the neighborhood, hand in hand with the maqui captain that took her away.” His breath was heavy with anger “and you claim you know nothing but you know classified information. So, the way I see it, you are either a maqui or you are a piece of traitorous scam just like him” his jaw was clenched and his eyes had aged almost fifty years in a blink. Rage was taking him.

“Tom…” her voice was heavy with sorrow.

“Computer” Tom looked away from her “run program Paris Beta 37.”

A man and a woman materialized in the middle of the room as well as a white sofa that matched the style of the house. “Make them replicas of Miss Kathryn and I”. The two characters changed to match the new specifications. “Computer, start running program”. The two holograms engaged in a soft fight: she was trying to pull away and he was holding her from the wrists, finally he managed to pull her towards him and she stopped resisting while he laid her down on the sofa. The real Kathryn was missing the point of the representation.

“Now we’ll make him watch” he whispered and the point was clear, he wanted to humiliate him.

“That is not me” she thought pointless to explain that Chakotay and her were merely friends.

“You are right. Computer end program. But it can be” he sneered and unlaced her dress, then he torn her panties cutting her skin. He touched the cut with his fingers “Tender, aren’t you?” and then took her bra in his hands tearing it apart so strongly that he hurt her back and made her bleed.

“Computer, turn on Captain Chakotay’s display panel”

“Please, stop”

“Oh,” he grinned “she’s begging. I like it. Don’t worry I won’t hurt you” he cupped her breasts and moved his thumbs over her soft nipples. She swallowed trying to take her mind somewhere else but his touch was soft and she couldn’t help her body. Her nipples hardened and then he licked them. “Do you like it?” he whispered in her ear.

“It won’t work. What makes you think he cares about me?” she bluffed and Tom Paris chortled. “Because of how he handed himself in to keep you from harm” he whispered smiling. “Oh, yeah” he cupped her breasts “he does care”. His half smile widened when he slid his hand between her legs and stuck his fingers into her. Her entire body shuddered. “Come on, I can make you enjoy it” he moved his fingers in and out of her.

“You are sick” she blurted.

“Oh, really? And yet, you are all wet for me…” he sucked at her nipples and she bit her lower lip trying to avoid a moan.

“Computer” he called looking into her eyes “delete cuffs”. As soon as the heavy metal rings vanished she fell to the ground. He pulled her up and held her against the wall by pressing his body against hers.

“Oh… you are going to love this” he whispered in her ear and pushed her to the floor. She fell on her knees but before she could stand, he grabbed her hips and pushed his hard cock inside her so strongly she gasped for air. He groaned as he thrusted inside her making her body shake so much she couldn’t get hold of the ground to stand. His rhythm grew faster and he laid his chest on her back to grab her breasts while he thrusted deeper and harder into her. His movements became frantic and then his body tensed and he arched back pulling her upwards for what it felt as endless minutes. Then he relaxed.


	3. The lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not her, him.

She ached so badly.

Darkness and silence were all she had wanted from the beginning, so long ago…

Why had she allowed him to come along for the excursion? He should have let her go and get lost, she was destructive. Right now he was in a cell, in a brig, considered an enemy to the Federation and it was all her fault. She deserved this pain.

Tom’s face appeared in her memory, his features hardened in disgust. Was this what her absence had caused? That was too narcissist of her and yet… Suddenly, she was caught in a twirl of golden particles and then she found herself in a cell. She had weaned off the light so, even if light was thin, her eyes narrowed.

“Kathryn” Chakotay sounded relieved behind her.

She turned around wrapping her dress around her aching body but she could not look him in the eyes or say anything. She only managed to nod as if that was enough sign that she was awake. It was not enough for him. Chakotay stood from the bench he was sitting on and moved to her.

“Don’t” she stopped him holding her hand up and looking outside the cell. “I’m fine”

He stood where she had stopped him.

“You don’t look fine” she remained silent “though considering what I just saw, you are probably tired”.

She turned and looked straight into his eyes in horror, her lips parted and air escaped her lungs as she tried desperately to say something but she could not find the words. _How could he say that?_

“It’s all right” he seized her “he’s a handsome man” he went back to his seat.

“It’s not what you think” she blurted taking a few steps towards him.

“It doesn’t matter what I think” his rough tone was too much to bare but she refused to make it worse. It was her burden, her fault, he was not even supposed to be there, the only reason he was, was his love for her. He had never been supposed to be in the Delta Quadrant to begin with or had ever met her for that matter; he should have been free back home. But now she was witnessing what that “home” looked like and she wasn’t sure she liked it.

Chakotay stood up and walked to the farce field that restrained them.

“Apparently we are in some sort of parallel universe where the Val Jean got destroyed in the badlands” he looked at her trying to get some reaction but she didn’t move. “They took me for dead so they were not happy to see me walk into their house live and kicking” he grinned trying to summon some peace between them but she was still curled up and her eyes were fix far away. “Kathryn” he squatted next to her and extended his arm to reach her shoulder but she jumped. “What is it? What…” he noticed a dark stain on her dress, took the fabric in his hand but she pulled away without looking at him. He got angry and moved to her, took the dress again and when she tried to push him away he moved his arm around her back and held her still. Then he realized it was blood, her dress was stained with blood in several places. Only then, he saw the wounds. She was not resisting him anymore and he felt helpless. He tried to caress her but she jumped again.

“We fought” she lied.

“I see” he wanted to destroy Tom Paris just as much as he wanted to tele transport her back to Voyager and make her forget all that had happened. He tried a change of topic.

“If we are going to escape this place, we need to work together.” He stood up and she nodded without looking at him. “Have you been able to find any information on how we ended up here?” He knew she had always known and if she was ever to come clear, this was the moment.

“I… It’s my fault” she was biting her tongue “I brought us here”

“What are you talking about?” he thought she was feeling guilty for the attack. “If this is because of Paris…”

“No” she interrupted him and stood up “this has nothing to do with him.” Only then she looked at him in the eyes.

“Well, well…” a familiar voice interrupted her from outside the cell. “It’s Captain Chakotay in the flesh” said Commander Kim escorted by Captain Paris. Harry took a look at Kathryn with curiosity. “Fierce fight, Captain?” he grinned at Paris.

“You could say that, Commander” Tom smirked looking at Kathryn and Chakotay flushed in rage. Tom looked at him with a pleased smile.

“Leave her out of this.” Chakotay approached the force field.

“Oh, I will.” Commander Kim said in a calm tone “I have no interest in her, it is you we want. She looks the kind that the Captain likes” he sneered.

Kathryn’s heart shrank in her chest. She closed her eyes and turned around in the cell.

“Stop it” she begged “Please…”

“Excuse me?” Kim said at her back. But she was not talking to him, she was focused somewhere else.

“Kathryn…” Chakotay was truly worried now.

“I don’t believe you…” she continued as if the men around her where not really there. “This is not true”. She was shaking her head with her eyes closed.

“Kathryn” Chakotay grabbed her shoulder and all around them vanished into a black vacuum with only a warm light before them.

“I don’t know what you think you are showing me but this is not it.” She scolded the light “Those men there are not Paris and Kim, and you will not make me believe that my absence is the cause for their lack of heart. Those men are ruthless and cruel, my existence is not what changed that” she was angry talking to the light in front of them. Her chest was agitated and she had lost fear. The light became blurry and then they saw three lights that whirled around them. All of the sudden, they were on board the Val Jean


	4. Some things never change.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people ermain the same across all time and space.

It took Chakotay a few seconds to understand where they were even if he didn’t understand anything else. He grabbed Kathryn by the arm and dragged her to his old room.

“OK. Now what’s going on?” he was angry and before she could say anything, he continued “We are being toured in another reality by your request?” he couldn’t even believe his own words.

“Chak-“ she tried to explain

“I thought we were friends” he was hurt and angry and she exhaled in surrender “I thought we were more than friends” he continued and her heart raced “I thought we were a team”. _Of course_.

“Chakotay” she looked for his eyes but his gaze was so harsh, she shook her head and walked away. “I’m sorry” she put her hands on her hips and let her head fall on her chest. “I…-“ She sat down and put her head in her hands.

“You have blood on your dress, Kathryn.” he explained and tears started falling down her eyes. “How do I protect you? What is it that I must protect you from?” But he couldn’t save her from herself.

“We shouldn’t be here, _you_ shouldn’t be here” she looked up at him and he sat by her side.

“Well, Captain” he brushed her tears “it’s too late for that”.

“No, it’s not. I’m not going to let you die in the Delta Quadrant, away from-“ she had stood up and headed for the window.

“The Delta Quadrant? Kathryn, we are no longer in the Delta Quadrant”

“Exactly” she turned to look at him “and that’s the way it should be. You should all be-“

“Kathryn” Chakotay couldn’t believe her words “you can’t possibly believe that this reality is better than Voyager. You’ve seen Paris, he…” He couldn’t finish the sentence. “He is a cruel man, Kathryn. And so is Harry Kim” He exhaled heavily “Look, I don’t know what is supposed to happen now but for what I’ve learnt here, the Val Jean was destroyed so we are probably at a moment before our encounter with Paris and Kim. I need you to stay in here until-“

“No”

“Kathryn, please! You don’t know these people-“

“Neither you do, Commander.” There it was again, _commander_. His jaw tensed. “For what we’ve seen so far, people in this universe are nothing like the ones we know”. She walked away from him a little and he observed her figure, the shine of silk and how it floated around her legs as she paced, she was so beautiful. Then he saw the dry blood again and rage mounted inside his chest but he restrained himself.

“Maybe, but they think they know me and they believe I am their captain. Who would you be if you are not part of this universe?” He was right about that, her presence would be hard to explain on the bridge. She looked at him trying to figure out a plan but she was so tired.

“I don’t need to be on the bridge, they brought me here to-“ the door chimed.

They looked at each other hesitant of what to do. Chakotay moved his head to point at the bathroom. “In there” he whispered and then he straighten up.

“Come in”. He was so handsome and strong, to think of everything she was making him go through. He had always been gentle to her, even at times when she probably didn’t deserve it, like now. She felt embarrassed and then the door slid open and B’Elanna walked in with a grin on her face. She jumped on him, circled his neck with her arms and kissed him passionately,

“I’m so glad to be back” Chakotay grabbed her waist giggling “What?”

“I’m glad you are back too” he kissed her back and even if Kathryn wanted to give him some privacy all she managed was not to see, for she could hear al they were saying.

“Oh, it was hell over there!” B’Elanna complained “You should have seen him, all sweet and generous” she chortled clasping her hands. “I have all the information we need and” she made that _a_ extra long “the good part is we kept our cover” She grinned pleased. “Your plan was genius. _You_ are a genius” she climbed his chest again up his neck but he took her arms and pulled her away gently.

“What? You are mad at me… Look it was your plan-!” she started to defend herself.

“I am not mad at you” he chuckled and looked in her eyes with all the affection he had always felt for her “I just have a lot in my mind”. He turned around and paced.

Suddenly he felt the cold metal against his throat. “Who are you and what have you done to him?”

Chakotay tried to turn around but she was holding two blades against him. Kathryn could hear everything from where she was hidden but she didn’t know he was in immediate danger, she just sensed it. She approached the door looking for something to use as a weapon when she heard him talk again.

“I am from another universe” he was calm and she pressed the blades against him tighter.

“Don’t even try” she muttered.

“I am not trying to deceive you. I am Chakotay, only not the one you know. I was sent here from an alternate reality” this time when he tried to turn, she let him. She looked at him narrowing her eyes as if she could see thru lies by doing so. “Prove it” she threw the words at him.

“I should be prove enough” Kathryn said from the bathroom door frame. B’Elanna moved quickly behind Chakotay and put her blades at his throat again. Chakotay look at Kathryn and shook his head softly then lowered it.

“She’s right, we both are. If you analyze our quantum signature you’ll see it doesn’t match your universe’s” his tone was calm, he knew B’Elanna was no murderer. At least he hoped she wasn’t such in this universe.

“Who is she?” jealousy got the best of her. That was the B’Elanna he knew.

“She is my captain from where I come from”

“She doesn’t look like a captain”

“That’s because your Tom decided to get back at me for taking you, by raping her” he couldn’t hide the sadness in his voice, neither he wanted to.

“He did what?” B’Elanna lowered her blades, she knew well enough he more than capable. She stared at Kathryn’s dress, torn and stained with blood, and turned back to him. “Why did you go to him?” she was horrified.

“I didn’t know…”

“None of that matters now” Kathryn changed topic to what was important “as soon as you enter the badlands, they will destroy you all. You need to turn the ship around” she took one step forward.

“Now you wait there, the badlands are our best chance to escape alive. They will never manage to navigate in them” she shook her head looking for Chakotay’s support.

“They won’t” Kathryn said quietly. “They will fire torpedoes and ignite the whole area”

B’Elanna couldn’t give credit to her ears her breath became heavy.

“Save him” the young woman looked at her “if you really love him, turn the ship around”

“Kathryn, we can’t do this, we can’t change this universe’s time line!”

The two women were looking at each other until B’Elanna left running. “I can’t believe you…”

“She loves you…”

“Of course she does, she had loved me since she met me and then she met Paris” a hint of pain hit his chest when he said his name.

“But that’s in our Universe, here, you love her too. You are happy together” she had been staring at the closed door and then she turned to face him. “I didn’t happen yet.” She smiled “If this goes well…”

“No… No!” Chakotay took Kathryn by her shoulders “those men out there, you know they are not good. You can’t possible think that this is the best version of them”.

“I am hardly the reason-“ she looked away from him.

“May be not. Maybe you are not the reason they are evil, but your presence does” he paused and she waited “maybe you are looking at it from the wrong angle, maybe it’s your existence what gives them the chance to be better.” She looked hesitant “I think they deserve the chance to be better than this. I know it’s hard, I know that it can exhausting and that you blame yourself for what happened. But think about it, this is the alternative, we all get killed without you.”

“Kathryn, this reality is not better. Understand it. The world, the universe is not better without you” he had pulled her towards him “Tom and B’Elanna should be in love, they should have kids together”

“What about Harry Kim?”

“Are you kidding me? He is a bastard here! The Harry you know is a sweet kid that falls in love all the time and is ready to get amazed. The man we met is nothing like that, you saw the cruelty in his eyes as well as I did. He was pleased with Tom’s actions” He stopped talking but there was something more in his mind.

“Are you not going to ask?” he was so close, his hands were so strong that, even if she had tried, she could have never resisted him.

“Don’t…” she looked down.

“What about me?” he asked in her place “I don’t need to meet my other self to know that he is probably a ruthless man as well, a wrathful man.” He paused and she looked into his eyes “I don’t want to be that. I would rather die in the Delta Quadrant exploring the galaxy with you than living here”.

She got free of his hands and walked away a few steps.

“Please, Kathryn. Take us back”

The walls of the Val Jean became blurry and everything started to fade into an impossible shine, until the shine was everything there was.

Suddenly, Chakotay could hear the prickling noise of the consoles and the intense light faded. They were back on board the Delta Flyer and Kathryn was hurrying over the consoles.

“The expansive wave is going to trap us, the flyer is not that fast” Kathryn kept trying to make the engines give their best. Chakotay grinned. He had a few tricks under his leave. He sat at the console and turned all engines off.

“I know what I’m doing” he hurried before she could say anything “you’ll need to trust me”. He smiled into her eyes and she smiled back at him. They got hold  of the consoles and prepared for impact. When the wave hit them, it sent them twirling out and even though the had got hold, it flushed them out in all directions. When they opened their eyes again, the white dwarf was hundreds of lights years away, the flyer was in one piece and they sore.

“Ready?” Chakotay stood up in such a good mood that not even a malfunction could have changed that.

“Ready” she replied standing as well and they activated the controls. Lights went on, flashed through the ship and then the engines died, leaving them in the dark.

“Well… that didn’t go well”

 

They looked at each other and burst into laughter.

“So” he put his back to the side of the chair to face her “light beings, eh?”

Kathryn copied his posture but looked through the glass, into the open before answering his question.

“Yes” she looked down and then faced him “I was thinking… well… so many things as we were studying the nova.” She paused trying to pick the words correctly. “One of the beams that collected samples to study, caught their attention. Apparently, they live on the energy released by Nova.” She shook her head slightly.

“No?” he smiled at her tenderly

She chuckled and then narrow her eyes “Do you know they are from a different phase? They said our beams had created what we would call a rainbow, and that it was the firs time they saw something so beautiful” she was taken by wonder.

“Well, it’s a good thing we came, then” he grinned.

“I suppose so” but she frowned and entangled her finger between her legs “I, I’m sorry” She pressed her lips together.

“Don’t be” he was smiling and his eyes were bright with happiness “you made an incredible tour just to prove my point” he played

“What?” she was confused

He looked in her eyes in silence a few seconds too long, the answer was so obvious to him.

“Why?” he finally whispered

He had to ask, he wasn’t going to let her get away with it. She took a deep breath.

“Well, they wanted to show gratitude… for the show. Apparently changing what we call realities is something extremely easy for them”.

His face was serious and even when he tried, he couldn’t hide the hint of sadness in his eyes. He would have wanted to protect her, he had even had this idea to cheer her up. It had been difficult to be captain, but he realized what a heavy burden she had been carrying on her shoulders all along and made a decision.

“I’m happy we’re-“

“I’m happy we’re-“

They both smiled.

“I guess I’m not that bad for the universe after all” she looked down smiling embarrassed. When she looked up again, he was standing up. He removed his insignia and took his jacket off.

“Commander…” she acted surprised.

“Come here” he offered his open palms to her and she used them to lever herself up, her eyes sparkling in curiosity. He took her pins off despite her raised eyebrows.

“Don’t you think you are a little out of line?” her heart was beating fast in her chest.

“Not yet” he looked into her eyes and she took her jacket off. He cupped her face and kissed her softly on the lips. “Don’t you ever try to vanish from existence again” he put his forehead against hers “it’s a little too dramatic”. She smiled and kissed him back but he didn’t let her pull away. He opened his eyes and looked into hers with such an intensity that her lips parted for air and then he kissed her as if by doing so they could become one. His arms moved around her back and hers circled his neck, he moved down and cupped her up. He took her to the back of the ship and put her down before the bed.

“Are you all right?” she was holding him too tight.

“I… I’m sorry” she tried to sound unpreoccupied “I’m fine” she lied a smile.

“No, I’m sorry”

“Don’t” she frowned. “Please. Just… make me forget” she shook her head softly and he pulled her chin up and kissed her again. She moved her hands up his chest and pressed her body against his while holding his face. His hands trailed down her back and slid under the skirt of her dress. She pulled away a few centimeters.

“I…” Chakotay felt he going too fast.

“Let me” she untied the lace of her dress and he took two steps backwards to observe her. She was so beautiful that even through all that dirt, she looked ravishing. Specially when the dress hit the floor. She stood there, fully naked in front of him and time stopped. He had no notion of the flyer, for all he knew, they were the only two living creatures in the entire universe. His breath was heavy but he managed to reach her cheek with his hand, she followed his move with closed eyes and time started existing again. The touch of her skin made it all real. He took the two steps back and sank in her kiss while she helped him get rid of his clothes. Only then time truly stopped. They stood face to face, looking into each other’s eyes, their chests agitated in anticipation until she moved her fingertips over the skin of his chest and the starts ceased existing. He cupped her face and circled her waist, he devoured her lips while he felt her hard nipples against his chest and she had his full erection pressed to her belly. He laid her down on the floor and moved his lips down her body, until her wet core. His hands played with her nipples and his tongue made her open her legs wider. He licked her softly and she was so wet he suck her and dipped his tongue inside her.

“Oh…” she groaned “Chakotay…” she was gasping for air. He moved up again and sucked at her nipples, then he kissed her neck and finally looked into her eyes while letting her feel some of weight on her. “I want you inside of me” he grinned and took the back of her shoulders pulling her to him as he sat on the floor. Her legs were around his waist and she moved her hips softly on him, feeling his hard cock penetrate her as she moved down. He was still holding her and the pleasure from being inside of her made him arched his back in a movement that thrusted deeper into her. She howled and he thrusted on purpose until he was completely inside her. Her breasts were almost on his face and when she started moving up and down on him, they bounced rubbing her nipples on his chest. He took one and sucked it while he pressed his other hand against her waist. She groaned and held the back of his shoulders, put her feet on the ground and moved faster on him, pressing her breast into his mouth and his cock deep inside of herself. He pulled his head back breathing heavily and moaning, until the moans became stronger and the groans were one howl with two voices. Their bodies strained with pleasure and remained entangled after they relaxed.

She didn’t remember the pain or the darkness, all she knew was him and he didn’t know his name until she said it.

“Chakotay…” he moved his face to the side she was reclined on “I love you”.

Nothing else mattered, there was only him and her in the dark night of the universe.

“I know. I love you too”.


End file.
